some things i learned in high school...

• i'm smarter than i let myself think i am
• i'm a people pleaser
• being a teenager sucks
• whoever said high school was tons of fun, lied
• everyone has a secret
• people change
• girls are petty
• boys are mean
• parents are usually right
• figuring out who you are is harder than you may think
• finding time for yourself -- forget about it
• i am much more content sitting at home with a book
• i consistently do the opposite of what my parents want
• it's okay to not know the answer to everything
• that even your parents lie -- even to you
• it's okay to admit you need help
• sometimes it's necessary to cry
• lying gets you no where
• you can be your biggest problem
• death blows a big one

nothing is innocent

""


we'd wake the dead

with voices in our head

we've gotten used to ignoring the truth

we close our eyes

and breathe and eat the lies

that tell us we're so much better than you


silence is loud

humility is so proud

nothing is innocent now

all the king's men

will serve scrambled eggs again

when white-washed walls come crashing down

we'll blink and nod

and say, How odd

and wonder why old friends didn't come around

silence is loud

humility is so proud

nothing is innocent now

the acid rain

we fear the pain

will blister and burn the skin



but what is more

the fear we bore

will eat us alive from within

silence is loud

humility is so proud

nothing is innocent now

for you and me

in the land of the free

is anything innocent now?

peace and love

AJ

make the most

and in the morning when i rise
there is one question that shines in my eyes
like the sun

am i making the most of this life?

so much trouble, so much strife
and in the hour of my guilt,
through the minutes of my shame,
there is no one to blame but...


peace and love
AJ

i'm pretty sure

i'm going crazy

linford detweiler

do you need a woman,

she asks,

stepping into her dress.

do you need me?

i stare into my heart,
and wish it were true.
(what is wrong with me?)
i see only closed doors,
unknown rooms.


i say, i need a word
for all of this. one less
tired and pale
and pressed.

there are a few moments
of silence. she is
looking out the open window,
her fingers splayed on the ribs
of the cold radiator.

i say, here's the deal: i'm going
to get in the car and drive.
i'm sick of my own cruel
self-pity and chronic indecision.

i'm going out to find the rhythm
of the ocean.


if i wake up years from now
with you laying next to me,
let that be the answer
to your question.


. . .


peace and love
AJ

i'm looking

for love in all the wrong places.

[christopher jak]

naked and tired from the night that's gone by
she kisses your eyes and you wake
then morning has brought you something as old and as new
as the breath that you take

the world's spinning 'round you in circles
your feet feel like lead
and the weight makes you loosen your grip
and from the shoulders of giants you slip
and the ground is so hard and their voices so far
that you can't hear what they say

tending the truth is something new
you weep without a tear in your eye
an endless repetition of the weightless words
give strength to a timeless lie

the world's spinning 'round you in circles
your feet feel like lead
and the weight makes you loosen your grip
and from the shoulders of giants you slip
and the ground is so hard and their voices so far
that you can't hear what they say

this means everything to you
wait to see if it's true
that life is born to new seamless memories
or is it all the same?

standing still as a child who's been lost in a crowd of strangers
loud and dangerous
everytime you close your eyes, your mind is screaming 'oh please help me'
all you want now is so much more than you've got, you want everything

but everything is right in front of you if you just open your eyes again
death be knocking on passion's door
that's where it all begins
all begins right here, at the end

the world's spinning 'round you in circles
your feet feel like lead
and the weight makes you loosen your grip
and from the shoulders of giants you slip
and the ground is so hard and their voices so far
that you can't hear what they say

this means everything to you
wait to see if it's true
that life is born to new seamless memories
or is it all the same?

peace and love
AJ