Saturday, June 13, 2009

what a load of crap

i don't know whether i want to laugh or cry. these last few months have not been so great. but...shit happens. i have learned so much, and unfortunately, i have learned it the hard way. boys will be boys. they act like completely sincere gentlemen, and then they turn around and become the biggest asshole known on the face of the earth. (and yes, incase you're wondering, i'm talking about you baby.) i always say that i have no regrets, and i will continue to say so; but this has been the closest that i have ever come to saying, " i wish i could take that back." i do wish that i had been a bit smarter and cautious, a bit more slow and meaningful, just a bit more insightful to say the least. i now see that i deserve so much better than what i was allowing myself to have. i deserve to have a person that is going to care about me, despite my flaws. i deserve to have someone that isn't gong to judge me on my religious beliefs. speaking of religion, how hypocritical is it that someone would say to me, "well, one of the reasons i can't be with you is because we have different views on theology." SERIOUSLY?! that is one of the most unchristian things i have heard. you are going to sit there on your "i'm better than you" seat and tell me that what i believe isn't enough for you. wow. and people ask me why i don't want to refer to myself as a christian. well, there is the answer to your freaking question. because the christians i know, are some of the most un-jesus like people i have ever met. it is incredibly dissappointing. that's all for now. i'm sure i will have more to say later.

peace and love
AJ

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